"Rachel, I need a raise," he blurted out. "I
don't know if you are the one to handle it since you're here
for a short time, but if not, I could use some advice on how
to get one."
"Justin, help me out. I'm not really sure I understand.
You're definitely in for the five percent we discussed based
on your move into Marketing. I gather that's not what we're talking
about."
"You know I've got a new baby. Everything is so expensive."
"I understand."
"Rachel, I'm not very good at this. I'm not sure how
all this works, but I do know that Katy hasn't been here as long
as I have, and she's making more than I am."
"Okay, now I understand." (You may be wondering
why I didn't ask Justin how he learned about Katy's salary. I
knew it could have only come from one of three sources: Katy,
Tom, or Stuart. I was sure then, as I am now, that it's a mistake
for supervisors to look for someone to blame when they hear these
disclosures, so I chose not to follow up on this one.)
"I have a lot of respect for you," continued Justin,
"and if I'm out of line, I hope you'll tell me, Rachel,
but somehow it doesn't seem fair."
"Justin, I can't promise anything, but I will look into
this and get back to you."
"Thanks Rachel, I couldn't ask for anything more."
"Maybe not, but would you mind terribly if I give you
some advice?"
"No, I'd like to hear anything you can offer me."
"I really want to be sure. Unsolicited advice is generally
worthless."
"I know. I've given some of that myself, and when I've
gotten it, I've tended to tune it out, but in this case, it's
invaluable, so please."
"Okay. I offer this not as criticism but as something
to consider for the future. Justin, there are three taboos in
asking for money."
He shook his head. "I have a feeling I've cornered the
market."
I smiled. "Well, listen and judge for yourself. First,
avoid saying you need money. What you need or don't need
is your concern, but it isn't thought to be To Your Health's.
In business, salaries are economic transactions based on performance
and contribution, not entitlements, so what you need isn't
relevant to this discussion.
"Oh, that makes sense. I've never heard it put that way,
Rachel. But what do you say instead?"
"You say, 'I'd like to discuss my salary.'"
"That does sound better and easier to say too. But there's
more, so tell me."
"Okay, here's the second taboo. There's an unwritten
rule in most organizations that pay is confidential. That means,
people usually don't discuss their salaries with each other.
I don't mean to imply it never happens, and if you know what
others are being paid (and you trust the data you receive) it's
good information, that is, if you understand the salary structure
and those things that are considered in determining pay. However,
when you're negotiating a raise with a manager, it does you little
good to bring up someone else's salary. That's a distraction
from the most important thing, which is getting paid based on
your own merit, not someone else's. With many managers, bringing
up another's salary is a red flag and could easily turn into
a discussion about how and why you obtained that information."
"I'm glad I made these mistakes with you, Rachel. I know
you're not like that."
"Justin, you don't know that for sure, but this time
your guess is right. You're relatively new at this game that
is business, and I want you to succeed. That's why I'm sharing
this with you. I hope you're not offended. I know I sound critical."
"I appreciate your advice. You said there was a third
taboo?"
"Yes, there's one more. You said it wasn't fair. In an
economic transaction, like pay, that's not exactly a winning
argument."
"Come to think of it, I know that argument rarely works.
My parents taught me that when I was a boy. I should have known
better. Now I know what I shouldn't do, Rachel, would you mind
telling me the right way?"
"Sure. Approach a salary discussion as you would any
important business transaction.
